2011.

Im gonna blog for 20 minutes about my life in 2010 plus, about my thoughts.

• 2010

I dont know what happened to me.I fell in love.He woke up the woman in me.

I cant deny the fact that i am crazy about him,i love him so much that i will cry over small matters that he did that offended me. Without him knowing. Maybe he knows,maybe he doesn't.

Its my nature to bottle things up. I met a hundred different type of people.

The only thing i like about 2010 is having a good year with Baby(: He is probably the only reason why i am being who i am now. Im confused by my thoughts a lot, thats why i dont think too much.

Which is actually kinda bad. Cause when i think,i get stressed up. Thats when i cry cause i get a afraid. Which, sounds totally crazy.

Back to 2010, school wasnt good. I slacked the whole year. I admit. I didnt care. I set up high expectations for myself. Unrealistic expectations. But somehow, i dont believe in myself. Thats where im lacking. Sadly.

During the holidays, i worked as a mac donald worker, obviously. I learn one thing. All man are horny. It doesnt matter whether he is a nerd,a nice guy or a gentlemen. All man are horny.

And i learn that i get a lot of attraction from older guys, which is a danger. Cause older guys are hornier and dangerous-er. Besides the point, i learn to think open and wider. That doesnt sound right... I learn to interact and deal with problematic customers.

Well to sum it all up, 2010 was fine. Thanks to Muhamad Khairul Anwar Faiz.

I love him so dearly, i dont want to ever let hin go.

• My deadly Thoughts.

Today was first day of school. Teachers talking about N Level, everything seems to be in a rush. Im choking. Even though its only first day of school. But the thought of it,chokes me.

They say N Level is easy, sure it is. But it cannot determine how well you can do for your O's. The best points you get for N Level to ensure you can graduate from secondary 5 with flying rainbows is 8 and below. So i thought, realistically. Can i?

If i cant,i cant go to ITE cause, he don't allow... So am i suppose to retake again? Im just, unsure.

Lack of confidence, i cant motivate myself. I cant take a challange.

My english sucks, my maths sucks, my combined humanities sucks, combined science sucks.

Almost everything sucks. Im just afraid.

I need to pass,i need to get at least 2 for each subject. I know its not realistic and very tough but... I have to... Life is just so hard, its starting to get hard already.

Im starting to get crazy, so i better stop and sleep.

My goals for 2011 :

1. Be myself
2. Be responsible
3. Get good grades

Why do i want to be myself? Cause i never am in school.

My dreams :

1. Get in poly, maybe NYP or Ngee An.
2. Mass Communication course/Business
3. Cut my hair like a rockstar and highlight or dye.
4. Get my car license, save money and get a car by 21 years old.
5. Be a counsellor/secretary. Depends.
6. God willing, marry Bie